Doran

I met Doran at Hospice Austin in 2008. I was working as a PRN (meaning as-needed, so my hours were not consistent or guaranteed) and she was in charge of the bereavement program. As I was eager to begin my professional social work career and gain experience in the field of grief and loss, I sought out opportunities wherever I could. Doran was always so supportive and included me in many grief programs and groups at the agency. Those experiences have been some of the best that I have had in my work. She also helped me realize my dream of obtaining my clinical license, by allowing me to see clients in the department after-hours. I felt really lucky because this work was so rewarding and it affirmed to me that I was exactly where I wanted to be. This is what I wanted to do for so long and now I was getting to do it!

What I love about Doran is that she is always willing to help people and share what she knows with others. She really helped me be able to get my LCSW and then also get trained in EMDR like she did. In some ways, I feel like I am kind of following in her shadow. She is one of those people who does things, and does them well. She has inspired me to dream bigger and not let myself get in the way of what I want.

Doran was also there for me during a time that I really needed it. She helped me pack almost my entire downstairs, and brought food, when I was alone and we were moving. People that help you move are really good friends. Anyway, when it all fell apart and crushed my world for a spell, she really helped me through it. Knowing that there was someone there to help me, was such an uplifting thing for me. Since then, we have become closer and have shared with one another different struggles. She has been unwavering in her supportive presence, even when I know it may have been hard for her.

I am grateful to have Doran as a friend and someone that I look up to for all that she has accomplished as a social worker. I asked the Universe to be kind and generous to her last year, and I am happy to know that the Universe has responded.

Job

I know this is technically not a person, but today I felt especially grateful for my job, which is made up of many people. After working in the hospice field for almost 5 years, I have had the pleasure to meet, care for, and support many people though some of the most difficult times in life. Always, always, I get more than I give.

Today a family member asked me, "So, this is what you do every day??"

"Sure do!" I said proudly.

Often I think family members forget, it's them who have the hardest job, not me.

But what I was thinking was more like, "Yes, this is what I get to do."

I won't lie, working in hospice is not like it is on those commercials. It is much more complex, intense, and challenging than I think one could ever imagine until you experience it. There are experiences that are not so fulfilling, there are situations that are met by challenge, bureaucracy, barriers to access, funding, insurance, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah...

But what I am grateful for mostly from my job is that it gives me a healthy dose of perspective on a daily basis. It makes me appreciate my body, my health, my family and the present moment...which I know can all change in one instance, or with one unfortunate diagnosis. I have worked hard to balance my work life and not internalize all of the tragedy and loss that does exist in this world. You learn quickly that concepts like "guarantees," and "fairness" should never be coupled with expectation in this life. 

The most gratifying moments that I have in my work are getting glimpses into the love that exists between people. I get to witness people share their feelings with their loved ones about how wonderful their lives have been, how they wished they could do it all over again, how important family has been. It is a constant reminder to me that, truly, in the end, our relationships are the only things that matter. And for those who don't have the good fortune of being surrounded by loving family and friends, that is where I feel I get to step in and be the loving kindness that person deserves in their final time on Earth. I get to do that.

When I look back on my experiences, there are names and faces that are imprinted in my mind and on my heart. There are individuals whose stories will never be written about in the news, whose struggles may only be known to a few, and whose journeys will always be shared by me. So, in this post, I hope to convey how thankful I am to know all the beautiful souls I have met and for those who give me purpose through my work with them. 

Diana

When I look at the above picture, I am reminded of how awesome life can be at times. There was a whole history of friendship leading up to this "pinch-me" kind-of-day. This was taken on Valentine's Day 2011, on the streets of Paris, France. Maybe my imagination is limited because I just couldn't believe I was there, with some of the people I care most about in the world. Lucky, blessed, grateful...all of the above.

I am thankful that I have had Diana as a faithful friend since the ninth grade. We were inseparable through high school and ventured off to UT together and I cant imagine what growing up would have been like without a friend like her.

Like many of the people I find myself writing about, the word "generosity" comes to mind when I think about Diana. She is one of the most generous and giving people that I know. She is a giving friend, and also such a support to her family members. Everyone can rely on Diana. She steps up to the plate time and time again.

There isn't enough space and time for me to say really how grateful I am that Diana and I have been best friends through the years. There are ample letters, emails, inside jokes and shenanigans to support the fact that we have been through a lot together and we have had such a blast of it!  Since I have known Diana, I have never had any doubt that she would be a successful person since she is so smart and driven. I am grateful that she has been able to do well in her career, but also that she found a wonderful man who is deserving of being with someone as great as she is. They have a really cool life traveling all around the world and have been able to experience so many fascinating sites. I love when kind, generous, people find happiness and love.  Now, if only they would come back to the US, I would be ever so much more grateful.

Sarah

Sarah is my little sister. She was born when I was just about to turn 8, so there is a bit of an age difference. Even though we fought a lot as children, I always tried to look out for her and wanted the best for her (actually, the same still applies). There were some rough phases. I will never forget her referring to the day I went off to college as "the best day of her life." I hope that is not still true.

But anyway, Sarah is now 22 years old and an emerging professional. She is also studying in the field of social work, and I think that it will suit her personality because she has a strong sense of justice and big heart. She is also one awesome Aunt to Ruby.

Sarah was there waiting in the hospital when Ruby was being delivered and was so excited to meet and hold that little bundle of joy. I thought about how sad it would have been if I didn't have any siblings to share that experience with. Ever since day 1, Sarah has been a huge help to me, even though she was in school and living almost an hour away. I am really thankful that Ruby has such a special Aunt who will spoil her and delight in her successes and growth. Sarah is also really good at a lot of things, especially photography. We are so lucky that she has made Ruby one of her special subjects! There is no way I would have been able to afford professional photography sessions to document her early life, but Sarah has helped capture some of her moments in ways that I will cherish forever.

Besides being creative, smart and generous, Sarah can be pretty funny. I think we have a shared sense of humor, probably one that many sisters have that is unique to them. I am thankful that I have a sister to laugh with, joke with, commiserate with, and spend holidays with. When she was born I was disappointed that it would take so long before she would be able to talk, and interact with me. It felt like it would never happen. But, somehow it did! Grateful for having a little sister I can now call a friend.

Cindi & Matt

Last night we had dinner with our friends, Cindi and Matt, who now live in California. I first met Cindi though Diana, and then when they moved back to Austin for Matt to attend grad school, Nick and I became good friends with them. It was really fun to have a couple that we both enjoyed and got along with really well. So of course we were really sad when they moved to California for Matt's job last summer.

During their time in Austin we had lots of fun enjoying the Austin scene and eating out a lot! We also went to Mardi Gras in New Orleans with them in 2012, which was so much fun. When I think about these two, I am always reminded of their generosity. These are the type of friends who you can count on for anything, and who are always willing to lend a hand.

Last August when I was very pregnant, I opened my email and was surprised to find a gift certificate for a prenatal massage from Cindi and Matt. I was touched by the generosity and thought. What a kind gesture! See, they do things like that.

I am grateful for them because good friends are hard to find, especially as we get older. These two are special people and they helped make the last couple years in Austin really enjoyable. I know that we will remain friends for a while and hopefully be able to return the kindness that they have bestowed upon us.

Nick

Today is a special day in  my life...July 26. Six years ago today, I met the man that I would marry. Nick and I met at a little dive bar in East Austin in 2007. It was a Thursday night and we would have our first date the following night at Fado, an Irish Pub. After that we were pretty much inseparable. It was an exciting time in life, and a period of time I remember with fondness.

What I love about life is unexpected gifts of joy! Meeting Nick was that for me. He had a zest for life, excitement for travel and was really happy to share these things with me. Our lives have changed so much since 2007, and I am just so grateful that we have been able to experience so many things together and explore the world together.

I am grateful that Nick has been such a great planner and enjoys traveling. He has made some cool things happen for me, that I otherwise would not have done. I still pinch myself when I think that I was in Paris, and on Valentine's Day! What fun we have had together!

Now that we have a daughter, I have a whole new appreciation for Nick. I knew that he would be an excellent father, but he has really embraced his role and is active in our daughter's life in ways that I would guess a lot of men may not be. He loves being with Ruby, loves organizing her clothes and picking out matching outfits for her, he is on top of all her nutritional needs and you cant let him go to Babies 'R Us alone because he tends to go a little overboard. He loves all aspects of caring for her and I couldn't ask for a more involved and loving co-parent! I will never forget the look in his eyes when gazing at her in the hospital after she was born. You could tell that his new mission in life was to make her life the best it could be.

I am grateful that we found each other this day six years ago and am I extra-thankful that he said "yes" when I asked him out. I believe in fate and so I guess that there really wasn't any other way. Every day I am thankful that I have Nick in my life and for all that he is to Ruby and me.

Dad

When I was little, I was definitely a "Daddy's Girl." We did a lot together. On his day off, my dad would pick me up and we would go look at plant nurseries and eat at Luby's. I loved eating at Luby's and picking out a cup of cubed Jell-O and an Andes Mint at the check-out. In high school and when I was out of college, we would usually go to Tom Thumb together and I always enjoyed that. I could get whatever I wanted when I was with my Dad. I think that is why I always enjoy grocery shopping even today.

I am grateful for my Dad for many reasons, but one of the things I am most thankful for is how he always made me feel loved and worthy. Now that I am older, I can see the impact that both of my parents had on who I am today and how I exist in the world. I think that the way he loved me and treated me will help me raise my daughter in a similar way. He was never quick to anger, and rarely lost his temper with me. The loving kindness that he always showed me is something that you don't just witness, you feel.

My Dad is the guy I would have hand-picked if I had the opportunity to pick out a father for myself. I could not have asked for someone more loving, patient, and kind. I don't know how I got so lucky, but I did. I am also grateful that he and Ruby will get to spend time together and hope my Dad gets to teach her all the things she needs to know about plants and sport and other grand-fatherly things.

Mom

Last May when I was pregnant with Ruby, I remember Mother's Day Sunday.  I sat in the car before my yoga class reading letters to the editor that people had written about their moms. I was in tears. They were all so touching. This year, I decided I should write my own and submit it to The Dallas Morning News. I was surprised when it was actually published. It pretty much sums up a lot of reasons why I am grateful for my mom. And I will copy it here.

Basically my mom is one of the best. We are a lot alike. She taught me Scrabble at a young age, and I think she would proud that I can even beat her some these days (Well, maybe not. She is very competitive when it comes to Scrabble). My mom is someone who takes pleasure in the simple things life has to offer and I think that she has taught her children to do the same. I am grateful for that because I think that is why I think I lead a pretty happy life. My mom is easy to be with. A lot of people have Mother-issues, but i can't say that I do. I owe almost everything that I am to her and am grateful for the love and the letting-go that she has given me. Loving is easy, the letting go...not so much.

Home > Letters to the Editor

I got my strength from my mother

By Letters to the Editor
letters@dallasnews.com
2:18 pm on May 11, 2013 | Permalink

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This is my first Mother’s Day as a mom. Now that I have a child, I see my own mother with new eyes and a bottomless depth of gratitude.

As my own journey into motherhood begins, the values she exemplified to me as a child teach me lessons in this current season of life.

When my maternity leave ended and I struggled with returning to my job as a social worker, I thought of my mother.

Through her love of teaching, she showed me the importance of doing work that touches people and has meaning.

When feeling overwhelmed in the mornings, I think of my mother, who taught me the value of punctuality by having her children on time for school, and by never being late for work a day in her life.

During the sleepless nights when fatigue sets in and I don’t know how I will function, I think of my mother.

She and I made it through these same nights together, decades ago. Her patience and calm are now mine as I rock my baby to sleep.

Not a day goes by that I don’t think, “Mom, I don’t know how you did it, but thank you.”

Carly Bassett, Austin, @carly819